Verse 1: E Dbm Hold still, my sweet A B I'm trying to measure E Dbm The space between A B Your molar and your jaw E Dbm This caliper A B No cause for fear E No, it, Dbm It doesn't hurt A B It only helps me measure E Dbm How much skin you have A B E Dbm In the topmost layer of fat A B But I won't make that incision E Dbm Until you're nice and numb A B E Dbm Oh, and laughing gas can be so much fun A B Please don't doubt my decision Chorus: Dbm This will be ooh! E This will be aah! A Ab This will be absolutely whee! Dbm E This will be nice, this will be neat A Ab And bring you closer to me Dbm E So don't you squirm, don't you fret A I'm not gonna hurt you Ab Yet Dbm E I just feel the need to be getting A A little of you Ab A lot of blood-letting Dbm E I know the sensation you're probably dreading A Ab But cutting you up will be so refreshing Dbm E A Ab For me Dbm E A Ab Refreshing for me, yeah Verse 2: E Dbm No, don't you cry A B And don't call Miriam E Dbm She's my alibi A B Oh, let me check your toes out E Dbm Aren't your toenails cute A B E Dbm And red is such a lovely colour on you A B But you won't be needing those E Dbm When you've got no knees A B E Dbm Or shins, or pinky fingers, or arteries A B So hold still while I remove them E Dbm Oh, and don't fight back A B E I think you'll find you're missing the point Dbm With that A B That's enough out of you! Chorus: Dbm This will be ooh! E This will be aah! A Ab This will be absolutely whee! Dbm E This will be nice, this will be neat A Ab And bring you closer to me Dbm E So don't you squirm, don't you fret A I'm not gonna hurt you Ab Yet Dbm E I just feel the need to be getting A A little of you Ab A lot of blood-letting Dbm E I know the sensation you're probably dreading A Ab But cutting you up will be so refreshing Dbm E A Ab For me Dbm E A Ab Refreshing for me, yeah Bridge: Dbm E Well once upon a time A Ab That's where the plot begins Dbm E And right after the end, A Ab Well that's where the plot thins, and Dbm E A Ab I've got no angel to keep me in line Dbm E So I'm taking your narrative A Ab And I'm making it mine Dbm B 'Cause I'm all out of hurt A Ab You've used up all I got Dbm B So I'm chopping you up A Ab And still coming up squat Dbm B If I wanted to bleed A Ab I'd just roll up my sleeve Dbm E And saw,and saw, A Ab And saw,and saw, Dbm E And saw, and saw, A Ab And saw, and saw, Dbm E And saw, yeah Chorus: Dbm This will be ooh! E This will be aah! A Ab This will be absolutely whee! Dbm E This will be nice, this will be neat A Ab And bring you closer to me Dbm E So don't you squirm, don't you fret A I'm not gonna hurt you Ab Yet Dbm E I just feel the need to be getting A A little of you Ab A lot of blood-letting Dbm E I know the sensation you're probably dreading Outro: A Ab But there's one thing you're forgetting Dbm E There's nothing like the thrill of a shred, again A Ab This is no orthodox beheading Dbm E A Ab I'm cutting you up Dbm E A Ab Cutting you up Dbm E Cutting you up is gonna be A Ab So refreshing Dbm E A Ab For me Dbm E A Ab Refreshing for me, yeah Dbm Refreshing for me Outro: E A Ab Dbm